how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
