so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
