well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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