He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
