I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
