gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
