I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
