This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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