Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
