i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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