when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
