how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
