There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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