He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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