my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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