Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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