It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
