Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
