I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
