just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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