dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
