Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
