dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
