If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You left your phone here
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