My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
