I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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