Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
