My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
