so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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