Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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