we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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