He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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