Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
