So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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