Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just tell him i said nine months
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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