There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
