he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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