I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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