It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
