If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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