dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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