i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
