my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
