Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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