i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
