Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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