So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
