i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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