So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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