how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
