I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
