I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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