Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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